homesick and being "BOYCOTT"

damn it ... so fast i'm so homesick liow ... started crying since wednesday nite ... and since then, my tears can't stop flowing .. i mean, it will just suddenly burst out and i can't control it!!! oh .. i miss my life in malaysia .. miss my family (that also includes my uncles' side), miss my bf, miss my friends, miss my bf friends, miss the baby that mom babysit (oh .. she's so adorable!!!), miss what i do every single day in malaysia, miss my mom's cooking, i just miss everything!!! and the only thing that can keep me goin is to keep thinking that i'll be able to learn more things and input more skills ... that's all .. and ... i hate it so much to sacrifice so much for an unsure future/gain that i will be able to obtain ... anyway .... last year, i'm also like this ... anyhow, as long as i'm being asked to go overseas, i will be homesick

even more homesick coz i'm not closed to this new environment ppl ... lets observe this scenario ...
i'm in taxi with my junior (module mate), and 2 other fellow project mates (from other company) ... one of senior hp number calling my hp .. i pickup, answer, actually looking for my junior .. well, ok .. coz the junior hp's wasn't on ... nvm ... but, to my surprise, the others are looking for her for dinner and i'm not invited!! ... isn't that a bit rude!!! .. oh gosh ... where's has all the manners gone-ar?? ... i remember me as a junior or in mandiri project, i will definitely ask those around me whether wanna join ... nope ... i was just totally being ignored ... FUCK ... well ... and, i have to keep woosah and thinking that, nvm ... i'm still alien to them ... BUT HELLO, i'm so talkative and friendly yet i can't be able to mix with ppl there who mostly are juniors (i have proved i'm can easily adapt to new environment when i was in maybank during the first 3 days!!)... wow. .. what's wrong with this project environment